Attachement: a spot on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yUj0Ta44DI
On this memorable, stormy night my intention was to find the power and stay in it forever. Previous weeks were not good in this regard. It was so bad, that I decided to definitely part with this state of infirmity. From the beginning of Ayahuasca ceremony I intuitively anchored myself to a ritual song of Peruvian Indian, just like a child holds on to its mom’s dress. Something kept telling me that it will by my reliable guardian through the Amazon jungle of my thoughts and ideas. I fell for the simplicity of the voice and melody, also for the sounds of rattle giving them a rhythm. The first impressions were the turmoil of ideas of all sorts, definitely “half time score 0:1” for the talker living in my head. “Second half” ran completely differently, one could even say that it ran by a thought (if not for the fact, that the goal was to lose a thought). I blindly followed my Indian woman’s voice which led me out of the thicket straight onto the vast plains of Kenya. The fact that during my trip I teleported myself on the other continent was a detail of little significance. Different dimension, different geography.
While in Africa I faced a slender Masai man. His serene eyes seemed oddly familiar to me. I realised quickly that this man standing in a front of me was Kevin Garnett, NBA star. I saw him in a commercial spot “Hear what you want” a few days earlier. It’s been shown to me on YouTube by my son Karol (now I knew why), who had recently become a fierce fan of American basketball. I watched the spot carelessly, not wanting to distress him, who – if he only could – most willingly would be re-born as a 2-meter black-skinned man running on the hall floor with the Cleveland Cavaliers shirt on. I did like the spot, must admit, it carried an intriguing power. I didn’t, however, assign any great meaning to it until it came back to me with a multiplied might of this unforgettable night.
I’ve been looking into Masai’s eyes for a long time. Surprisingly I found in them the key to my “embarrassing” conditioning, which I didn’t have idea about and which undoubtedly was the reason of my weakness. Separation was the reason of my lack of power. I was separated in my deep subconsciousness, I lived in duality. Masai looked at me with unconditional love and softness, that didn’t diminish the pride and strength of the warrior in any way. Besides Kevin Garnett’s I also spotted in Masai’s eyes the sight of another black man, whom I have never previously met nor seen. I only heard about him from my wife. His name was Yussuf and he used to be Kasia’s object of attention in times when we were not together yet. My conditioning consisted of the separation. I loved nature, mountains, woods, seas, plants, and various beings, I even stopped eating animals. I did not, however, love black people, in my subconsciousness I felt the wall between me and black population living on his planet. It was a wall of my mistrust, uncertainty, jealousy, perhaps even fear. Masai, Garnett, and Yussuf firmly glared at my flabbergasted eyes. Negro’s eyes of Kenyan native, basketball player, black-skinned student - all in one person on one side and my surprised look on the other.
My intention during this journey was to find the power. I found it in this fusion of glances. This was enough for our identities, which used to define our everyday existence in three-dimensional reality, to become of no meaning. So we became the oneness, one consciousness, one glance, one bloodstream. Without a separation, without an identity. We were standing in the midst of Kenyan grass, executing the communion, actually it was executing and manifesting itself, for it has been present since always. Our arms entangled in a strong embrace. The wall came tumbling down, there was no black, no white. There was the oneness, fullness, a dream team, wonderful fulfilment and the Power. The feeling of gratitude filled my heart right away.
I thanked Garnett for his guidance to release, I also thanked Yusuff for showing up in Kasia’s life, for being her teacher, for his indirect existence in my life as well, leaving me a space by the side of this wonderful being – my wife. At the same time a felt gratitude towards my friends, who organized our meeting and stayed very closely throughout the whole ceremony.
If someone would have once told me that nearly 3-minute-long commercial spot (the one shown to me by Karol) will change my life, bring me back the power, love and freedom, I would take it as a joke. Now I know, that so it happened. I have not a single doubt. I interpreted it as an allegory of my own release. If you are reading these words, take a look at the spot on YouTube. “Hear what you want” is an apology of silence, though this silence shows up once and lasts for one second. Its tone is out of this world though. This is the silence of the Universe, penetrating our consciousness and is the source of all that is. In the spot the silence appears at 1’08 minute and it is absolute. Follows the wave of terrible noise, shouts, and screams which, I swear, resemble a talker in the head and tumult of thoughts, constantly swirling under the skull (this metaphor is very clear to me). This one-second-long silence is like the deepest and the longest meditation, after which the enlightenment comes (2’19 and 2’34 in the spot). “Hear what you want” is a touch of the heart. My answer to the question what I would like to hear and where I feel the Power is: I want to hear the silence and the beating of my heart.
The ceremony was coming to an end, we were going to beds. I was falling asleep feeling the Power within. I knew, I was an inseparable part of the Universe, I was the Universe. While contemplating such blissful state, the powerful thunder could’ve been heard – the one and only echo of the past storm, the form of confirmation of the strength achieved by oneness and staying within the heart. I felt a big army o Masai warriors standing next to me, myself among them, all being one.”
"Make it last for all of us and love yourself!"
- Byron Katie